a dream

Listening to a beautiful song this morning of 30/06/2016


Na jiya zindagi ek pal bhi tujhse ho k juda...sun zaa....
Bin tere mujhse naraaz tha dil... tu mila hai to ye keh rha....
Mai to tere rang me rang chuka hun.. bas tera ban chuka hoon...mera mujhme kuch nahi ..sab tera..
Mai to tere dhang me dhal chuki hun...bas teri ban chuki hun...mera mujhme kuch nhi ...Sab Tera..


And here comes my dream wedding album....

Why do people avoid each other... Why it becomes so difficult for humans to deal with humans.

Hi... I am returning to this page after a very long time.. many things have happened till now.. and it this point I am engaged to someone . I might get married to him.. and although i feel lucky to have found him. ..i am not feeling very happy about this progression in life. i don't know why our society has raised men like this.. who are so scared to voice their opinion out or may be they just don't care. He seems to be a really nice human being but when i saw my father touching his feel in the engagement ceremony because of a ritual as suggested by pandit ji... he didn't oppose it. and again it brought me back to the same  question of why marrying someone who cant even take care of the respect of your papa.i hated it.. i don't want to hate him before marriage. our marriage date is still not finalized. bt i don't want to fall out of love. but the truth is i might. if i lose respect for him.. i will lose the love i have for him. Dis society has taken a lot from us and now its taking a toll on my relationships too. The way i have been raised by my papa.. i am so proud of it and i never expected something like could happen vid me. but i am also a slave or rather m becoming a slave of this society customs and traditions. This is not how i expected my life would be. Bade papa you know everything... I wanted to see my husband with pride. please don't let me be stuck with  a mediocre mindset guy. I like nishu ji and i want to marry him.. but please make him understand that these things matter.. Always being silent about things wont help. I like flawed people.. i don't think i can be with someone who is always trying to be politically correct. Bade papa please broaden the mindset of people. Sometimes i do think that what is the point of getting married and be vid someone because everyone is gonna disappoint you at sometime or the other. but then when i see the happiness in my parents eyes because of my this decision to marry.. i take a step back and rethink. papa has raised me to be very confident and

i love you....

I dont know what to write now but what i have now with someone... feels so right.
I know I had been confused about my partners before but this one seems so different. When i met nishu ji.. i found him to be very simple. I mean how come someone in the first meeting ask you to be his life partner. When he asked this question to me that "Do you think we will be happy together?" and he himself replied i think so... he took a part of me. I love him so much today.. So much. He is the guy who took away all my insecurities. He came and made me feel so calm and safe. Yesterday when dealing with my anxiety.. i have met ppl  who have left me for this issue and this guy was just so ready to love me and make me feel okay. From then i knew My bade papa has chosen the best life partner for me. I am so grateful to you bade papa , badi maa.. i never thought I would be in love and I would have my trust on anyone. I just wanted to marry for my family but now I want to do it for myself too. I am so happy with him that it makes me afraid what if i lose him. But i am sure this time I wont. coz he is the one  who is there and will always be.

The baby with a smile....

In today's time, we come across very less kids who give  you a smile when they see you.. I have been lucky to have known such a kid.He was a small 7 old months boy staying on rent in our home. I have never known a more vibrant friendly kid who can make you fall in love with him instantly.

I woke up to the news of his demise.3 days before it was informed to me he had a clot in his brain. I read some blogs on the same and tried to follow up on his condition.But knowing my state of mind my mom didn't tell me that he passed away during the operation.I was informed the doctors are trying to melt the clot through medicines.

But the baby is gone. As told by mum,when mom visited him the last time, he was still trying to smile even after bearing all the pain....This baby was love.I am feeling bad for the kind of experience he had in this world.

And today one more news broke to me.The word has come back to my life again which drives the purpose of my life ... TUMOR... What can possibly cause a tumor in such a small kid. And if it is because of something we are consuming on day to day basis.. then i am ashamed to part of the society where they are selling slow death. Pathetic ... The world is turning blind to these situations.

But being a part of AI and ML.. I promise to make an impact. For that child...who once lived... taught love...taught to smile to strangers... the boy's life deserves it. I wish I has returned back to my purpose not with such a strong news.. But God(bade papa) please show me the right path and keep me focused . This baby is with you now and he deserves it. Please give me strength and focus to save lives and if not save at least to monitor tumors in a human body.



PS:Baby I am sorry for the suffering you had to go through in this world in this life. You were the most beautiful baby ever..When i will think of you..a smile and a tear will always roll down my cheeks! I hope I am able to make an impact and no child has to go through this ever.!!!!!!